Written by Sakshi, Youth Council Member
Listen to this story, as spoken by Sakshi
I arrived in Australia at 14, hopeful for a closer family bond. Early on, my life took a sharp turn when I had to endure the life-changing experience of ‘family violence’. At the time, I didn't even know there was a term for what we were going through.
Initially, I did everything I could to research what was happening - how can I get out of this, what could I do? I felt helpless and lost, the world started feeling really big. Having just moved countries, I had no one I could confide in about this situation or get advice from. I didn’t know who I could trust. We didn’t have any other family in Australia.
At school, the isolation, fear, and impact on my education and well-being are vivid memories I still carry with me. I felt stigma and shame going to school, and not being able to tell anyone about what was happening at home.
Navigating the complexities of the Australian legal system was daunting, especially for someone new to the country and unfamiliar with its framework. The online resources, while abundant, were often cryptic and unhelpful for a young person in crisis. I did not want to alert authorities, I was worried that immediate action would leave us with nowhere to go or a report would get back to the perpetrator. I know that I’m not the only one that has had this experience, and we need to do more to make sure that young people like me have the resources to access the system.
I am good at English, and I can navigate online platforms, but even I couldn’t find the information I needed to get help. Giving children and young people information directly, and in their language, would help children and young people to get the support they deserve as victims in their own right.
I wish there were resources available for all young people from CALD backgrounds, resources, especially for someone who has no understanding of the Australian family law and family violence systems. Resources that are clear about the process and inform us about what to expect as a young person.
When I was going to court, the proceedings felt like a battle between only two parties, with little regard for the voices and experiences of us – the children.
My sibling and I were never given the opportunity to share our experiences in court or to voice them directly to the judge who ultimately decided that we were not affected by family violence. If we had been given the chance to speak in court and share our experiences, it could have made a critical difference. We were denied the opportunity to present our truth. It felt like our voices didn't matter, as if everything we went through was dismissed and ignored. Instead, it was just decided for us.
Supervised visits and phone calls were ordered by the court, to try to ‘fix’ our relationship with the perpetrator. This wasn’t something I had agreed on or even wanted. I had a voice, but no one was listening to it. After navigating difficult circumstances and trying to put the scattered pieces of my life together, rebuilding the relationship with the perpetrator was the last thing I wanted to do. Young people deserve to have a say in decisions that shape their lives.
One of the most difficult moments in my life was when a family crisis led to a sudden change in my living situation. It was a time of uncertainty and fear as my sibling and I found ourselves placed in foster care, far away from our familiar surroundings. We missed school and felt overwhelmed being in a new and unfamiliar environment, away from everything we knew.
These decisions were always made for children and young people because ‘they don’t know what is good for them, they’re just kids’. I was very aware of my needs that weren’t being met. My sibling and I knew exactly what we wanted. We wanted to feel safe, heard, and protected. Instead, we were nothing more than another case that needed to be dealt with at the time.
Children and young people need to have a choice in how they can contribute to decision-making about their lives - who they stay with, how, if and when they have contact with perpetrators. They should be afforded the opportunity to contribute their experiences when the system is determining the risk of a family violence situation. Young people need to be directly informed about the process and resources that are available to them, particularly those from diverse backgrounds.
I want my story to highlight the changes needed in our legal system and to prioritise the voices and experiences of those most affected by family violence.
The Victorian government is developing its third Rolling Action Plan under Ending Family Violence: Victoria’s 10-Year Plan for Change and is delivering reforms to be more responsive to victim survivors. In this work, more effort needs to be placed on promoting and elevating the voices of children and young people – in decision-making about their lives, service delivery, policy design, and system reform.
I share my story to bring to light the challenges that young victim survivors of family violence endure too often. I hope my experience influences those in positions of power to consider our needs in the next stage of government reforms.
We demand to be heard and understood, not just treated as another case file.